


In the hour of torment

by Morvith



Series: Defy the Stars [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Some Swearing, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-25
Updated: 2018-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-18 21:33:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11299269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morvith/pseuds/Morvith
Summary: Sometimes the space between two universes can be as small as the difference between a collision and a near miss.AU of my own story Dead Man Walking





	1. Divergence

**Author's Note:**

> I'm writing again! Well, a bit at least, and what's the best way to celebrate than a nice tragic story? Expect no happy ending. 
> 
> Yes, I'm writing the AU of an AU.
> 
> The good news is, this story is already finished (bar a little editing here and there) and I'm back to working on Jim's war. 
> 
> Hope you like it.

 

_Parallel universes. Alternative time-lines._

 

_Sooner or later, every civilization stumbles on the idea, from the moment somebody wonders aloud “What would have happened if...”_

_For most people, they are just a theory, an amusing intellectual exercise – a fantasy._

 

_But fact is, they do exist. Nobody knows how many there are, or what kind of barriers separate them._

_Few people ever crossed such divides. Even fewer managed to return to their point of origin._

 

_There's one mistake all civilizations make: whenever the subject comes up, they always concentrate on the big things – empires that endure against all logic, wars lost when they were won, great social revolutions that flounder instead of flourishing..._

_The obvious things._

 

_But parallel universes really don't work like that and the space between two enormous differences is filled with a billion smaller changes._

_The same barbarian tribe overruns the estate, but the master's wife stabs herself with a dagger instead of drinking poison. In the next universe over, a barbarian knocks the instrument of death – dagger or poison, it hardly matters – from her hands and carries her away._

 

_People die when they might have lived and live when they might have died._

 

_Even a wise, learned man as Spock the Elder failed to realize this: when he emerged from the black hole, he honestly believed he had been brought back to the past, that all the differences he saw where a result of Nero's actions._

_He wasn't wrong, for Nero did interfere, but strictly speaking he wasn't right, either._

 

_In this universe, Jim was always going to be blond. His eyes were always going to be blue._

 

_Small differences. Certainly not the only ones._

 

_Sometimes the space between two universes can be as small as the difference between a collision and a near miss..._

 

******

 

“Khan, use evasive action. There's debris directly ahead.” 

 

“I see it.” Khan assures him, immediately starting to turn, and then.... 

 

The debris keeps drifting, but he manages to avoid it by a hair's breadth.

 

It's not as reassuring as it should be: there is not room for “almost” in his genetic makeup. Perhaps his calculations were less then perfect again, or perhaps his reflexes are slowing down – either option sends shivers down his spine.

 

He has no choice, then. His crew needs a ship. And for that, he'll need...

 

“Spock, my display is dead. I'm flying blind.”

 

Kirk has been a good ally – more than good. Everything he heard about him was true. He will not be happy when he discovers his deception.

 

“My display is still functioning. I see you, Kirk.” 

 

The first decent human being in 300 years. Khan likes to think he would have saved him anyway.


	2. Chapter 2

The battle for the _Vengeance_ isn't really a battle at all: more a whirlwind of phaser fire and falling bodies, over in a handful of seconds.

There's only Marcus left, still in his Captain chair – and right in Jim's line of fire. “Admiral Marcus, you are under arrest.”

 

Marcus stares at him, disbelief and horror warring on his face. “Oh, Jim... What have you done?”

 

“Get out of the chair, Admiral.”

 

“You're not actually going to do this, a-”

 

From behind Jim's back, a phaser fires twice and both Marcus and Carol crumple to the ground, stunned. Jim's already half-turning toward the new threat, but he's too slow: in a second, his own phaser is knocked out of his hands and destroyed.  

As he stumbles backwards, barely managing not to trip over Carol, he sees Scotty slumped over the weapons console. He's alone, alone with the traitor...

 

“Please don't do anything rash, Captain.” Khan says calmly, aiming his phaser – the sole functioning phaser, it looks like – straight at him. “I do not have time for you to recover from being stunned and I'd be forced to physically incapacitate you. Don't try to touch anything, either. Keep your hands where I can see them.”

 

As much as Jim would like to punch him, he knows last time he only landed a blow because Khan allowed it. He's regretting not taking more advantage of it now.

“Spock was right, I shouldn't have trusted you!”

 

“Don't be so quick in your judgments, Captain. I need to talk to you, alone. This,” he makes a vague gesture with the phaser before lowering it, pointing it at the floor. “Is the best I could come up with given the current time constraints.”

 

Somehow, Jim manages to keep from gaping. “Talk. All of this just to talk?!”

 

“There was no other way. I want to offer you a deal. A trade, if you will.”

 

Jim glares at him. “Let me guess, my life for your crew?” He has more to say – he can forget it, and Spock will never agree to it either, but Khan shakes his head.

 

“No, Captain. _My_ life for my family.”

 

For a moment, Jim is speechless. All his assumption, all the scenarios he imagined, they're all shattered like ancient glass. “What?”

 

“Let my people leave with the _Vengeance_ and I will surrender myself to you without protest. I will not try to escape, I will aid you in every way I can to expose Marcus and Section 31 and I will submit to human justice for my actions against Starfleet.” Khan looks away, swallowing hard. “Let them go and I'll do anything you want. Anything at all.”

 

At this, Jim's temper flares again, thinking he's using his own words to manipulate him, but... there's real, pure desperation in Khan's voice, in his posture – carefully hidden, but Jim can't not recognize it, not when he felt himself less than an hour before. Here's a man willingly walking to his doom. Not his death, no, death would be infinitely preferable to what will be asked of him...

 

“Do you think I'm stupid? With a warship this size...”

 

“They'll be safe as they awaken. They'll be able to protect themselves from any enemy.”

 

“Like, say, humans? Who's to say they won't turn the ship around and follow us to Earth?”

 

“Me,” Khan replies solemnly. “I'll leave them very precise instructions. Besides, Earth was – is the last place in the universe where we'd want to be.”

 

Jim snorts. “Come on, are you seriously telling me they wouldn't rescue you?”

 

“Not if I order them not to. They chose me as their leader, they will obey me.” Khan insists.

 

Somehow, Jim can't help but find it a bit... sad. “It doesn't matter, I can't give you the _Vengeance._ It's Starfleet property and a fucking warship, the admiralty would skin me alive, cover me in salt and roast me on a low fire if I just gave it away to people unknown.” He hesitates, unconsciously glancing at Marcus' still form. “Look, I can only imagine what that bastard put your through, but we're not all like that. Your crew will be treated well, I promise you.”

 

“Don't make promises you cannot keep, Kirk.” Khan snarls. “What do you think will happen if you bring them back to Earth? They'll be woken up and offered a place in your society? A nice uninhabited planet where they can start again? Oh, please!” He too glances at Marcus, his eyes filled with anger and hatred. “Three hundred years haven't dulled your fear of us, he's ample proof of that.”

 

“If I promise to look after them myself....” Jim starts, but Khan doesn't let him get any further.

 

“You cannot promise that, either: you're a soldier, a ship's Captain, and the Federation is big. Sooner or later, you'll be reassigned.” He takes a deep breath. “Even if your government somehow doesn't succumb to fear and has them executed in their sleep, they won't know what to do: no one will want the responsibility of awakening them in case they rebel again. Your politicians will stall for time, then they'll keep stalling until my people rot in their tubes or a new crisis brings another Marcus. You should just fire those torpedoes into the closest star and be done with it!”

 

Jim opens his mouth to protest and closes it again without saying a word. Khan has painted a depressingly accurate picture. He's right, there would be endless committees and meetings, dragging on for years and years without ever reaching a decision until the Augments faded from memory, buried alive in some dusty warehouse.

A coward's way out, letting time do the dirty work for them.

 

Jim's hands clench at his side. “Do you realize what you're asking me?! I barely avoided being thrown out on my ass, and only because Pike...” Just saying his name feels like a kick to the stomach. “Forget the _Enterprise,_ I'll never set foot on a Starfleet ship again, do you understand that?”

 

“They won't take your ship, not after you expose Section 31,” Khan says in a low, soothing voice. “The public outcry alone won't allow it and they'll be too busy protecting themselves to care.”

 

“It's still a risk,” Jim says, because if Khan thinks he'll just meekly go along with his plan, he's got another thing coming. “Why should I agree?”

 

As he speaks, he looks up, right into Khan's eyes – those damn eyes that seem to look right through him, down to his very core. “Because it's the right thing to do.”

 

Damn it. Damn _him_ , for seeing so much and knowing him so well in such a short time. He doesn't even care if he's being manipulated here because it's all true.

 

“We could make it look like I forced you,” Khan offers, still in that low, understanding voice. “And then the _Vengeance_ was destroyed when your crew rescued you. No one would question it, if we stage it the right way...”

 

“The Federation would be even more pissed off at you, have you considered that?”

 

“It would be the least I could do.”

 

Jim sighs, rubbing at his eyes. “If I said yes, how could I be sure you wouldn't betray me the moment your crew was on board? We both know neither I nor any of my security officers would be able to stop you.”

 

For a moment, Khan says nothing – they're back to staring at each other on opposite sides of the bridge, until he suddenly moves toward Jim.

Stalks, really, like the deadly predator he is, and even if parts of Jim's brain are pushing for fight-or-flight, he stands his ground, waiting.

 

Khan raises his hand, the phaser lying flat on his palm with the butt towards Jim. “Take it.” He doesn't move. “Take it. I won't stop you.”

 

Slowly, carefully, Jim reaches out a hand, his eyes never leaving the Augment's impassible face. It's almost anticlimactic: his fingers close around the weapon and he snatches it up quickly, yet Khan makes no move to stop him.

 

“You are the only armed person on board now, Captain.”

 

“You could take it back any time.”

 

“And you could stun me the moment I turned my back and have me transported back to the brig. I'd have no way to stop you.” Khan's voice is still calm, still even, yet Jim knows it must not be as easy as that. Not for a man like this, obviously used to being in command and coming from a year under Marcus' thumb. “I would like to discuss the terms of my surrender.”

 

“What, this Behemot of a ship isn't enough?!” It's meant as a protest, but it's as good as saying he'll let him have it.

 

“I assure you I haven't got many. Will you listen?”

 

Jim hesitates, then lowers the phaser, pointing at the floor – but not putting it away, not yet. “Alright, let's hear it.”

 

“First, I ask that my crew be moved to the _Vengeance_ within two hours and to be allowed to enter the codes that will start the awakening procedure myself.”

 

“Granted.” He ought to bargain more, but... if it was his crew, helpless and frozen, he wouldn't trust them to anybody else.

 

“Second, the PADDs I had on me on Kronos: I made them for my people, I want them to have them. If not the originals, at least a copy. Can you do it?”

 

“Depends.” Jim hedges, already knowing that they won't have time to check the content if they are to do everything. “What do they contain?”

 

“Basic information on this century's technology – nothing dangerous for the Federation.” He hesitates. “Everything Section 31 had on us, from the moment they found us to my escape. I think you'll want a copy for that.”

 

“Those files... not pleasant reading, are they?” Khan looks away, silent. “And you still think they'll obey your orders not to rescue you after watching them?”

 

Khan's eyes are distant, haunted. “There used to be hundreds of us, did you know that?” He whispers roughly. “Hundreds... and on our ship there were only 85. Twelve of us were lost before Marcus found us, others may not survive the awakening.” He raises his gaze again, deliberately meeting Jim's own eyes. “They will not come for me, Captain. They can't afford it.”

 

Part of him doesn't want to believe him, while the other remembers Tarsus IV only too well: all he ever needed to know about survival, he learned it there. One of his therapists once told him he shouldn't compare everything in his life to it, but how can he not, when parallels keep being thrown in his face?

 

“I'm sorry, Khan, I can't do this. I have to think of the well-being of the Federation, too.” He hesitates. “If you give me your word that the first PADD doesn't contain any of our secrets, I will have a copy brought on board. You can record a message to your crew on the main computer, so they'll know what happened, but no more than that.”

 

He fully expects Khan will argue – perhaps even consider it the end of negotiations, but nothing happens. “I understand. Very well, I can concede on this as long as you let me record that message.”

 

“You have my word.”

 

Khan nods in acknowledgment, Captain to Captain. “Third, I ask to be officially questioned the moment we return to the _Enterprise_.”

 

“We have no lawyers on board,” Jim cautions him.

 

“I'll formally renounce my right to legal assistance. Just make sure to record me, and that my interview will be admissible in court.”

 

_Such a strange request, this..._ “Granted.”

 

Another nod. “My fourth and last request is rather... personal. In the event of my death, I ask you to be in charge of my body and all funeral arrangements.”

 

Jim opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again and no words come. He hadn't been expecting it, not this and why on Earth would Khan ask this? Why him?!

 

“Don't look so surprised, Captain.” He continues, standing straight and stiff. “You realize that, by surrendering, I am walking right back into a nest of vipers: it's highly probable other Section 31 agents will try to kill me, either to silence me before I can implicate them or in revenge for the loss of their comrades. I'd like to know my wishes will be carried out if they succeed. Do you accept?”

 

“Yes, but...”

 

“Good,” Khan interrupts him. “You won't find my last wishes too onerous, I hope: I wish to be cremated, and have my ashes scattered over a large body of water – I don't care which.” Something flashes over his face, there and gone so quickly that Jim has no hope to ever decipher it. “I'd prefer there was no post mortem examination, though I understand it might not be within your powers to avoid it.”

 

Perhaps it's his words, or the calm, emotionless voice in which he delivers them, but he's sending cold shivers down Jim's back. It’s a perfectly logical explanation, yet it doesn’t sit quite right with him and he cannot object to it, either.

“I'm sure we won't need it. My security officers know their stuff,” he says in the end.

 

Again, that strange look on his face. “Just a precaution. Now, Captain, shall we begin?”

 

He turns and starts walking toward the transporter, and Jim's turning toward the communication console when he sees him stumble out of the corner of his eyes.

His gaze immediately goes to the floor, expecting to see an unconscious body, or a phaser fragment, but there's nothing, nothing at all.

 

“You okay there?”

 

“Yes, yes.” Khan smiles – a small, secret smile, one Jim's sure he was never meant to see. “ _Gioia improvvisa non entra mai senza turbarlo in mesto core._ 1”

 

“What?”

 

He shakes his head. “Nothing important. Come, Captain: we have work to do.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 Gioia improvvisa non entra mai senza turbarlo in mesto core: Sudden joy never came to a sorrowful heart without upsetting it. (Violetta - G. Verdi, La Traviata, Act III)  
> La Traviata (The Fallen Woman) is the story of Violetta, a Parisian courtesan who is slowly dying of TB and hopes to spend her last days with her true love, Alfredo. Unfortunately, Alfredo's father convinces her to break up with him because their scandalous relationship is threatening the marriage prospects of his daughter. In Act III, the lovers are reunited, but Violetta's condition has worsened: she speaks this line after she has a dizzy spell, trying to conceal the truth from Alfredo. (Unlike Khan here, she isn't really successful)  
> Incidentally (or rather, not) this part is right before the aria "Gran Dio, morir sì giovine", quoted in Jim's War chapter 4. 
> 
> Today is my birthday and the dialogue between Jim and Khan was my absolute favorite part to write in this short AU: both seemed like a good reason to update.  
> I hope you liked it as well.


	3. Chapter 3

In the end, they hide the  _Vengeance_ between an uninhabited planet and its moon, limping away at impulse drive after all the cryotubes have begun the awakening sequence. 

 

His First Officer is definitely unhappy with him and keeps eying their prisoner as if he's itching for an excuse to go digging into his head. Jim suspects there will be yet another disciplinary report in his near future, but by now he's too exhausted to care.

At least Bones was on his side.

 

Moreover, no matter what Spock says or thinks, Khan has been true to his word: he fully respected the limits of their agreement, without arguing or looking for loopholes. Even when the  _Enterprise_ left – when Jim fully expected him to try and escape back to the  _Vengeance_ , it was the only plan that made sense – he simply kept answering Commander Giotto’s questions, showing no emotion. 

 

Once they’re far enough from the border, Jim orders a shift change: they’ve all got an adrenaline crash coming and it won’t be put off much longer. Spock insists to remain in command, claiming he’s not due for a Vulcan nap for a while, and Jim gratefully allows it: no matter how his personal actions still smart, he can be trusted with their ship.

Besides, all the other officers need to rest as much as he does.

 

When he reaches his quarters, feeling like he spent several hours in high-gravity without a suit, he briefly contemplates a shower before giving up and crawling in bed.

 

“Computer, set alarm clock for – uh…” He’s not entirely sure what time it is anymore. “Well, seven hours from now.”

 

Bones would advise eight, or even twelve, but it will have to do.

 

**********

 

He’s roughly pulled back to consciousness three hours later by his chirping comm.

 

“Kirk here.” 

 

“Captain? It’s Commander Giotto. I’m sorry to wake you but the prisoner suddenly collapsed during the interview. Dr. M’Benga ordered his immediate transferal to Sickbay.” 

 

In less then a second, Jim is wide awake.

 

 

**********

 

As they wait for M’Benga and Bones’ response, Spock and Giotto discuss possible contamination, alien illnesses and medical alert procedures.

Jim sits in his chair behind his desk and says nothing. He keeps thinking about Khan’s insistence to be questioned as soon as he returned on board and the badly concealed urgency he glimpsed on the  _Vengeance_ . He thinks about Giotto’s words, recounting how Khan had looked perfectly fine during the interrogation save for a light cough, how he had refused offers for a break over and over… and about the fourth, last request, which suddenly makes much more sense. 

 

Neither Giotto nor Spock believed him when he said there would be no epidemic, no widespread medical emergency, but Jim knows without a doubt that it will be so.

 

It’s so easy, when you look at it, so obvious, so beautifully logical he’s surprised Spock can’t see it, too.

Khan knew about his sickness all along. Whatever he feels about humans, he couldn’t have risked the chaos of a shipwide epidemic on top of everything else: if he didn’t say anything, then whatever he has isn’t dangerous for humans – he knows it, he’s absolutely sure of it, this is not a gamble he could have afforded to take.

And how can he be absolutely sure it isn’t dangerous for humans? Because it’s something that was tailored for his Augmented physiology, specifically designed not to be contagious – or not to survive in a regular human body, Bones will find out. Section 31 wouldn’t have used it otherwise, they were neither stupid nor suicidal.

Well, the former might be up for debate yet, but not the latter: greater-gooders rarely sacrifice themselves, it’s always some other poor schmuck on the chopping block.

 

He has already sent a very incensed Carol Marcus to interrogate her father. If the bastard refuses to talk, he’ll gladly beat the answer out of him, his career be damned!

 

No wonder Khan was so sure his crew would obey him: he wouldn't hide the truth from them and they will not come back for a corpse. Even care for the dead can be a luxury, at times.

 

Jim has to admire a man who spends so much time planning not how to avoid his own death, but how to  _use_ it – in between wanting to yell at him, that is. 

 

His communicator chirps. “Captain, please come to MedBay at your earliest convenience.”

 

Jim pushes his chair back and stands. “Well, gentlemen, I guess we'll have our answer.”

 

Spock moves toward him. “I'll come with you.”

 

“No, Spock. You are still Acting Captain, remember? The ship needs you.” He rubs a hand against his eyes. “Bones will probably sedate me as soon as he sees me, the hypocrite.” 

 

**********

 

Bones meets him as soon as he comes in, sans hazmat suit.

 

“So?” Jim asks. “I take it he's not contagious?”

 

Bones shakes his head. “No, he isn't. We managed to isolate the virus and it's just as we thought: it's genetically modified to affect only Augments. We have also found weak traces of another compound in his system, probably something to keep the virus in check. Lt. Zanin is working on it and I've got Lt. Liang on the virus itself with all the medical and science personnel we could find.”

 

“But?” 

 

Bones frowns. “But the scum who made that virus knew his job too damn well. Even with all our people working in shifts – and Liang already organized it, you don't have to ask – it will take them days and that's time Khan hasn't got.”

 

Jim startles. “Is it so bad?”

 

“The infection has spread widely. We're trying everything we have, even non-human medications, but nothing seems to work.” The frown deepens. “If we had known earlier...” 

 

“But we didn't.” Jim interrupts him. “You couldn't have known, Bones, he looked perfectly fine. None of this is your fault. You'll do everything you can, I know.” 

 

Bones takes a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “That I will. That I will.” He looks up. “Khan asked for you.”

 

“Won't I be in your way?”

 

“Not at the moment, we're in between medications. I can give you a few minutes.” He adds, vaguely gesturing over his shoulder. “He's in Quarantine Room 1. We're not going to move him: he deserves more privacy than a screen can give him.”

 

Jim thanks him and walks toward the door.

 

Even though he knows the situation is bad, in the back of his mind he still expected to find Khan just as he did a few hours ago, when he came to ask his help: sitting ramrod straight on a biobed like a king on his throne, impassible and controlled.

What a difference a few hours can make.

Khan is paler than the bedsheets he lies on, surrounded by monitors, hooked on three different IV drips. He looks fragile. Worn down to the bone.

As Jim stands there, shocked into stillness, Khan opens his eyes and turns his head toward him and fuck, even that seems to require an incredible effort. From a man who fought a Klingon patrol alone!

 

“Captain. You came.” His voice is the only thing that hasn't changed, the only reassurance it's still him. “I didn't think you would.”

 

“Of course. Why wouldn't I?” Jim regrets his words as soon as they leave his mouth: he doesn't want Khan to think he only came out of pity, or worse, curiosity. 

 

But Khan doesn't seem to take offense. “You must think of your crew...and you have good reason to be angry with me.”

 

“Yes. That's true.” 

 

Khan nods – or at least tries to before having to interrupt the movement with a painful grimace. “For what it's worth, I am sorry I tricked you.”

 

Jim can feel his mouth go dry. “Tricked me.”

 

“Yes. When I surrendered, you obviously expected...” he trails off, but the look of utter contempt he casts at his own body is more than answer enough and if he actually voices the thought there _will_ be yelling. “Well, now it turns out you traded golden armor for bronze. 1” 

 

“Golden armor for bronze. _Really_.” Jim repeats, anger dripping in every word. “Is that what you think? That I'm mad because you're  not... _useful?_ ”

 

Khan looks back at him. “Why else?”

 

“Oh, I don't know, maybe because you're dying?! Or maybe because you didn't trust us?” And here's the yelling. He'll get an earful from the nurse on duty, but he doesn't care. “We could have helped you if you'd told us earlier!”

 

“You couldn't.” Khan replies calmly. “There's nothing you can do for me.” 

 

“We could have found something!” Jim roars, stalking closer, then abruptly stops. Takes a deep breath and lets it out, forcing himself back under control. “I just want to know why.”

 

“Why what?” 

 

“Why you didn't trust us. Why would you do this to yourself when you hate it as much as I do.” 

 

Khan raises his head as much as he can, defiantly meeting Jim's gaze. “Tell me, Captain, would you have asked my help if you had known this? Would you have brought me with you to the  _Vengeance_ ?”

 

“I...” Jim hesitates. He really wants to say that of course he would have, he would do anything to keep his crew safe, but... _he_ would. He could have never ordered somebody else to give up their lives for them. “No, I wouldn't have. At best I would have asked you to guide me from the _Enterprise_ , or I would have though of a different plan.”

 

“Then you would have died in the debris field, and so would have our crews.” Slowly, as if against his will, Khan closes his eyes. “It's better this way. They're safe, it's all that matters.” 

 

Jim's hands clench at his side. “It's so unfair. You deserve better than this, Khan.”

 

Khan opens his eyes again, looking genuinely astonished. “Most humans would disagree with you. They'd say this is exactly what I deserve.”

 

“Fuck 'em.” 

 

That earns him a soft chuckle. “Not literally, one hopes. Still, it's an unexpected sentiment. You are a remarkable human, Captain Kirk. I'm glad I met you.”

 

“So am I. I wish...” Jim's throat suddenly feels tight, and his heart heavy. He instinctively reaches out, delicately placing his hand on Khan's arm. “Don't give up, okay? I know you think there's nothing else for you now that your mission is over and your family is safe, but... Don't give up. My crew is working for you, they'll find something. We don't want you to die.” 

 

Khan turns away, staring at the ceiling. “I don't make promises I can't keep. I have been fighting for a long time, Kirk, and I'm... I'm tired. So tired. Thank you for everything you've done for me and my family.”

 

“It's nothing.” He shakes his head. “It was the right thing.” 

 

“Nevertheless, you have my gratitude.” Khan forces the tiniest smile. “I'd say my eternal gratitude, but unfortunately I don't believe in life after death.”

 

“I wish I could do more...”

 

“You did more than enough.” Khan says, and it's an Emperor's voice, the voice of a man whose word is law. “My death is _not_ on you, Kirk. I certainly do not blame you and I'm the only one who can judge this.”

 

Jim doesn't reply. “I should go. Bones will have my head if I tire you too much.”

 

“Thank you for coming, Kirk.” 

 

When Jim is almost at the door, he's called back. “Captain?”

 

“Yes?” 

 

Khan is looking straight at him again. “You won't let them cut me again, will you?” He asks, his voice low and much too steady not to require deliberate, superhuman effort.

 

Jim almost doesn't understand, what does he mean – and then he remembers. The fourth request and God, did Khan say  _again_ ?!

  
“I won't. I promise you, they'll leave you alone.”

 

Khan's eyes are sliding closer again. “Thank you.”

 

For a moment, Jim hovers halfway between the bed and the door, but then a nurse comes in with a tray of hyposprays and he slips out.

 

1 _Trade golden armor for bronze_ : Khan is quoting part of a verse from Homer's _Iliad_ (Book VI, verse 211). Trojan ally Glaucus and Greek warrior Diomedes meet on the battlefield, but while reciting their respective lineages, it turns out that Diomedes' grandfather received Glaucus' as a guest and they exchanged gifts in the name of friendship and sacred hospitality. The two decide not to fight and trade armors as a sign of renewed friendship between their houses. The full verse goes: “But Zeus, the son of Cronos, robbed Glaucus of his wits, for he gave Diomedes, son of Tydeus, golden armour for bronze, a hundred oxen’s worth for that of nine.”

**Author's Note:**

> In the hour of torment: the title is taken from Tosca's most famous aria, Vissi d'arte. You might remember "Vissi d'Arte" from the beginning of the fourth chapter in Jim's War - it was the third quote.


End file.
